I'll never light your eyes up like they should

20050718

i dont understand why it seems like such a big deal you know? i really dont. and i dont need a particular someone to sms me and telling me he/she knows too and it's worse when it's someone i dont exactly favour/like/have friendly connections with you know. like what's the big deal really. thanks for the concern, i really appreciate it but it would've been better w/o slamming it right into my face that you too know. like it's MY LIFE dammit. if you're a close friend or someone who knows me well enough i dont mind but nooooooo you're not. so stay out of my affairs. RAWWWWWWWWR. i sound really angsty. and it's not helping me in recovery here and i can feel the stitches in my mouth gonna split soon.

and i get really uncomfortable when some ppl address me as "far", it's for some ppl only SOME okay. dont start calling me far when you've been calling me fariza all this while. urghhhh. like i mean they are friends who call me far and i feel comfortable with them calling me far but not some okayyyyyyy even my best friend dont call me far and she calls me iza btu you know wat i feel comfortable with it i'll probably feel uncomfortable if she starts calling me farfar. hockey ppl call me far, max calls me far, marianne calls me far, ben aloy edmond alaric call me far, mingrui calls me far, rai faiz call me far, mostly vj ppl call me far, yes fine a thousand other ppl call me far, mr seet calls me far, weechin jy pok shawn nick chonky call me far so wat's the big deal you may ask? it jsut is to me okay. and i dont appreciate it when others (some) call me far. im a confused kid. screw me. sorry. but you should know better.

RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRR

shamphoo let go on 23:54