I'll never light your eyes up like they should

20050210

and so thought of the day today! came from nadia! hahah. how i wish i was a little girl again and swinging on swings, getting excited over cartoons on tv and 50 cents icecream! how times have changed. we were talking about how some pple cant wait to escape their childhood probably cos of all the bad memories and such. but like i told nadia we can never throw away our childhood, our past, we can never truly escape from it cos like it's part of who we are. we look back and think about it, reminicse about it. and so much of our childhood. like all that we went thru mould the person we are today. somehow.

and then i started to think of friendships. all those friendships i've built over the years and the friendship[s] i've lost too. i dunno. friendships seem like such an important thing dont you think so. and honestly i'm glad with all the friendships i've built. and how individuals can impact your life tremendously. i miss the kinda friendships we formed when we were younger. so carefree. heh. like in nursery and kindergarten. sharing toys and buying sweets and playing catching! heh.

i remember my first best friend in nursery. estee. heh. we were four. we sat beside each other all the time but we were so different in character. she was the crybaby type. super sensitive and cried at every little thing that upsets her. i was noisy and talkative and played around with all the boys but still she was my best friend then. my fragile little best friend. heh. her dad or mum will pick her up after school and i remembered if her dad picked her up he'll come and pick her up with his bicycle. while i walk home after school with my cousin who was in k2. one time i made her cry. heh. i was naughty back then. i brought 40 cents to school. two twenty cent coins. and at the beginning of class i told her i'll give her one coin i keep the other. but at the end of the day i took back the coin from her cos i wanted to buy smth. [i am so bad!] and she refused to give it back so i grabbed it from her and ran to the shop. she cried. [ oh my god i am so evil! hahha] her father talked to me about it the next day. but the same day i gave her my sweets cos she didnt wanna talk to me. but we were alrite after that. no cold war. but sadly we werent in the same class years after that. but we lived nearby and we sort of rekindle the friendship we lost years and years after nursery in p4. but only for a short while. i wonder how she's doing now.

and i've been trying to remember this boy's name, my friend in k1 whom i was really close too, i forgot his name!!! we lived in the same block , me on the 3rd floor and him on the 5th floor. this malay boy. sigh. how can i ever forget his name. he was such a sweet boy. we used to go home to school together and at the age of five he walked me home everyday! hahahah. so sweeeet right. and he'll take the stairs with me instead since he always take the lift home. but he'll take the stairs with me since i take the stairs. then we got separated in k2. i once went to the fifth floor in front of his door and hope he'll open the door when i was in primary school. but i never met him. and i forgot his name! k2 there was shaun. the small cute shaun who's mom was super nice. heh. i wonder how he's doing the last time i saw him was before i shifted from shunfu. he still looks the same. but i dont talk to him since primary school i think i talked to his mum. heh.

those were days when we were so innocent. and sweets and icecreams and superheroes and lego and barbie dolls and the zoo and playground were our lives. the SWINGS!

it's through. things get more complicated as we grow older. but one thing is that we have families and friends who help us through it all. everyday we meet new ppl, we get to know more ppl who might eventually one day be a great friend, a good friend you can run to.

there's my nadiah who've stuck with me since the longest time ever. since p3. i tell you. this girl is wayyyyyyyyy mature beyond her age. i love her family too. they're like my other family or smth. her sisters. nadiah nadiah been there for me to cry and whine and scream and when im bored go over to her place to slack. the makcik. who saw me grow up since pri sch. was there through my swimming days, my psle, my streaming, the macdonalds days, the teasing cikgu himpon, the late night phone calls, to talk about my sec sch, talk abotu my stress, talk about my eyecandies and guys, been there with my family problems, and now she's missing! hahaha and there's my bestie, whitney, since sec1 this girl who gave me the ahlian first impression of herself. she's been the girl who whines and complains whole day. been thru with me through the crescent days. hockey days. thought o levels. through my worst sec3 days, been there at farewell, at graduation. we did graduation shopping togheter, getting ready for grad night together, went to genting together. ur sis and ur mum. heh. the first to run to me and hug me tight while i cry my hearts out during hockey finals when i didnt score the penalty flick. through the rough friendship times that we had. pull through that. been through a whole lot. my shopping buddy, the whining buddy. the bestie who's oh-s o- greedy. and there's my yashira. the girl who i disliked in sec1 and 2 and our unspoken rivalry. how things all turned around. i can never thank her enough for her advice, the online chats, the smses, the on the way back to school on the train phonecalls. the random last minute meetings. for being there especially my jc years despite u being in rjc and me in vjc. listening to me. allllllllll my sillllly problems you would put it. i simply cant put into words what we've been thru.

and vjc. i've met some of the most important friends ever.really and also forged some friendships that weren't that great in sec school with people like wongxi and qing. qing has been the sweetest girl,teammate,friend,classmateincrescent. teammates for 6 years! hwo wonderful. she's the best listener sometimes. we talk about the most idealistic things on earth! hehe. and all the retarded stuff. and buy each toehr little stuff to make each toehr's day. and our city hall mrt station talks. our future! and wat we always daydream about. who keeps me going on during trainings and the gruelling runs. who never fails to cheer me on. and flor and wong who's there as well four of us! yay! love the laughters and the jokes and everything that we went through togehter. florosaurus! and wongx iand her tshirt. and of cos max and marianne. how can vj be without the two of you. max the unfunny one. the one i cant remember how i got close too. but this guy is one of the most wonderful idiots on earth i tell. thanks for everything and anything at all. really. tolerating my nonsense and pmses and i know im your only friend. haha. the stupid things we do when we're out. like sitting at the seat outside ck tang for 45 minutes doing nothing and just watchign ppl and commentingpple. playing the "let's see who meets moer friends in town". for smsing me to find out if i'm ok after my whole day of pms. for smsing me when you're bored and then callin me to disturb me cos YOU are bored. then i entertain you. all the calls that we had which... come to think about it are damn waste time cos we talk about absolutely stupid stuff.. like me commentating on wrestling and how stupid it is " you see the guy with the yellow suspenders is now slamming the guy with the red headband on the floor" and you laughing away. for buying marianne and i drinks during breaks. for being ur unfunny stuff. for ur swatch watch! being there for me when im paranoid and when i have things to tell you. our econs lectures where we talk about everything and anything. and... our "annnnnneyippppp". trying to watch another movie after our movie. for caring despite ur unfunniness. marianne is one hell of a kid. hahah. the jappo kid my dont-waste-time-already friend. hockey too. kellie tan sucks. econs A. eyecandies. jaron. hahaha. dunno what vj will be like without you one chick i dont think i can live without in vj for everything else really all the dinners and making someone say hi to me. locker below mine. "AHHHH HAHHHH". going out after school. another view to problems. there to let me cry and help with my problems. get to know some of my friends. the girl with funny friends like mingrui ah! hahah. hallo mingrui. the transformation oh my gosh! heh. thanks girl for being who you are. neurotic you. but i still love you. dont waste tiem already la.....

and then i think... one day i wanna find my childhood friends. and hold on to those i have now. very very dearly. and then mulan start. and tmrw is cross country. i hope i'll run well.and then anieq's here to disturb me. better gooooo

and i hope u'll feel better.

shamphoo let go on 03:38