I'll never light your eyes up like they should

20041127

hmmm i was in the toilet thinking [ yes do not laugh, i think the toilet is quite a nice place to think] and thouht about how i've changed as a person. i seriously don't think that i'm quite the same person i was in primary school, in sec school and now.

i dunno i guess i've grown sometimes to much that well.. there's no way i can put it. it's funny when i think abotu it. and i've learnt how the environment you're in actualy does play an important role in moulding the kind of person you are - the people around you, your classmates, your peers, your teachers and people you don't know.

when i look back and think about it, i dont have an attachment with crescent unlike many others with their sec sch. i think i have more attachment with vj same goes wtih zheqing. i guess it's just all the experiences but there are a few things that i feel blessed to have from crescent are the best friend i've found, the small group of crescent friends i've come to love so much and treasure and the hockey team. but again crescent was the place i learnt so much about life. how bad experiences put me down at one of the lowest points in my life and then i learnt to pick up the pieces by myself. there are some things that i can say i'm proud of being in crescent especially hockey and being able to get involved in leadership activities. but it's different with vj. somehow when i left crescent. i felt happy to leave . really really happy. i hardly felt that " hey i wanna go back crescent and see how it;s like now" unless a friend asked. not with westlake. it's a pity westlake's gone. but i have a feeling that i'll miss vj a whole lot when i leave next year.

pity one year of year1 passed so fast. it seemed like yesterday i walked into vj on the first day of school intimidated by the unfamiliar colours of uniforms from top schools and damned the crescent uniform made me stand out . i mean yellow and blue what not to notice? carrying my backpack and hockey bag along. but somehow there's a sense of belonging there. and orientation and the class and the slacking the library the team winning the hockey a div title making new friends. it's really wonderful. i guess this year i've grown so much more, horizons expanded.

sometimes i myself dunno how i've grown, how i've become probably hopefully a better person. learn to look at life and what it really has to offer in a different perspective. learn to appreciate everything and everyone around me more. i dunno la. was talking to sam about peer pressure last nite and well i guess everyone succumbs to that at one point in time. but it's how much you let it get to you but well it was an interesting thing to talk about.

welll wellll wellll

shamphoo let go on 19:59