I'll never light your eyes up like they should

20040714

Disappointment - the very emotion that brings you down, that pierces through your soul as though you've just been shot. Especially - especially when the disappointment comes from the person you least expect. I hate to admit that I'm wrong - wrong to have faith in you, to have believed all along that no matter what happens, you'll remain the same. Wrong to have tried to stand up for you and always knowing that you are that very person I once knew. Wrong to try and convince others that your change might be for the better. Wrong for having denied another who had been right?
Hints that I try to drop so gently without wanting you to get hurt - didn’t get to you. The simplest, most insignificant thing that you said that hurts the most, without you even realizing it. Things that once meant so much seemed as though it’s nothing now. I chose to ignore the fact that you changed because I believed that it didn’t matter. However, you disappointed me. You may never understand why. You may call me oversensitive - I don’t care. The feeling's worse than you can ever imagine and I feel as though I’ve been a fool all these while.
I wonder how you'll be able to explain yourself. I thought I knew who you really were - the real you. But I guess not anymore. Maybe I knew you once. Now I’m lost and the disappointment doesn’t seem to want to go away. For you can never imagine how something so small can bring about such great disappointment. Maybe I was in the wrong too, but I had my reasons, you on the other hand could have at least accommodated a little. It wasn’t too much to ask was it? If I mean that much to you. In fact it was FOR YOU. Yes for you. But… But. It’s ok. Like I said - I was wrong. People make mistakes. I made a mistake for overlooking your changes, hoping that it wouldn’t change what we have. It’s just that maybe... I’ve never been so disappointed in the one person who means this much to me.... I still love you though... just well... maybe you could try...maybe i could try again...

shamphoo let go on 05:27