I'll never light your eyes up like they should

20040328

you know what. was looking thru my email inbox and i came across this. 3months 28days ago. when you wrote me this. i re-read the email and cried again. reading the email again made me realise alot of things [again].went thru my achives and found the entry i typed about you. glad we're both surviving.=). love you lots man.

010104

hey there

you know something fariza? that was the most touching and sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. i thought you were joking or something so, i had my doubts that you really wanted to test my tears tolerance. and guess what? you did. major achievement there since the tolerance is pretty high.

the truth is, when i called you earlier on in the afternoon, what you didn't know was that i was already crying. i guess what triggered it off was you asking if i'd miss you. actually, i've been trying not to think about missing people but you asked then when i heard you, guess i just broke. so, it was quite a hard time wiping/stoping the tears, maintaining a normal voice/persona and not give anything away. i didn't call you back even though my mum talked for only a short while cos i was so afraid that this time, if i cried again, i wouldn't have been able to hide the tears. tsk..all this crying is making me feel so pathetic.

anyway, really, i feel exactly the same way about you, minus the antics part since you dun seem to have many. :) i'll always always treasure you. one really special person. remember that kiex. if ever you're feeling down/shitty/useless/invaluable, remember that in this world, there's always a yashira who knows that you're one astounding, special (this word seems overused but i can't think of anything more apt) person and holds that in her heart. if you ever get rejected or hurt in your future relationships with others be it romance or friendship, know that that person is just being a jerk. then, come tell me. heh.

you were always there for me too [this sounds awfully cliche but who cares]. rmbr the aftermath of prelims where i was some idiot, totally gonna go off the edge dealing with jc problems and regretting getting 6, then you came the next morning with chocs. that shocked me cos i thought you were just kidding when you said you'd get me chocs. i believe you merely listening the night before and then the following morning helped a great deal. it was one of the low-points and you were there. thank you.

love you loads too, fariza. you needn't have asked. you wanted to make me cry and you did. even before you did anything.

luv,
Yashira

shamphoo let go on 07:38